Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
