So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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