Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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