so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
