A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
