Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
