My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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