You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
