we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
