nut hugger
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
