remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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