you turned your livingroom into a bong?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
