You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
