Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
