look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
