We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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