Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
