Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
