No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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