you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
