What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
