yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The police scanner is talking about you again....
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
