you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
