id be glad to
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
