why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
