Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
