don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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