Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
