So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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