Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My penis needs a shock collar
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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