this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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