I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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