dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
