pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
