I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
