There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
