Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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