Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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