i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
