So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
