dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
