And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
