I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
