At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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