I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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