The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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