**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Two words: blizzard sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
