Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
