and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
As shirtless as possible
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
