just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
